The A***hole Tax: How Being a Bad Client Costs You Money
Edward WongHead of Strategy
With over 20 years in the software development industry in both technical and leadership roles, Edward brings a wealth of experience to the 4mation team.
He is passionate about helping people succeed and empowering people to step up and show how awesome they can be.
I’ve been at 4mation Technologies since 2009. In that time I’ve worked with hundreds of clients across all sorts of industries. Most are great: collaborative, respectful and genuinely enjoyable to work with.
…and then there are the others.
There honestly haven’t been that many, but enough that they’ve earned their own economic principle, which I call, the Arsehole Tax.
It works like this:
The more difficult a client is to work with, the more expensive they become.
It’s not because we’re trying to punish them, but because difficult behaviour always creates friction, rework, uncertainty and risk.
In software delivery, friction directly translates to cost.
Why difficult clients pay more
1. Difficult clients generate more uncertainty
If I can see that a client is likely to argue every point, challenge every recommendation or constantly shift direction, I need to build that into the estimate. More uncertainty means more padding and more time.
2. They create unnecessary overhead
More meetings. More clarification. More reporting. More documentation. Less trust. When a relationship feels fragile, everything needs extra handling. That slows things down and increases costs.
3. They question everything but listen to nothing
Ironically, the clients who push the hardest on price often burn through the most budget. If every decision becomes a debate, money goes into managing conversations rather than delivering results.
4. They disrupt focus and momentum
Good clients allow a team to fall into a steady rhythm. Difficult clients force context switching, defensive project management and constant escalation. This kills efficiency and morale faster than most people realise.
A real example from this week
In a meeting recently, a potential client cut me off abruptly and said:
“If you’re going to go on and on about your company, then save it. I just want to talk about my thing.”
Aside from being unnecessary, it immediately signalled three things:
- They do not value expertise.
- They do not see the work as a partnership.
- They are likely to behave the same way with the delivery team.
That means more stress, more oversight and more buffers built into the quote. If they want to pay the Arsehole Tax, that is up to them. But the tax exists for a reason.
What most people never notice
The Asshole Tax is not a punishment. It simply reflects the cost of the extra time, emotional effort and risk that difficult behaviour introduces into a project.
Respectful clients who are clear about their expectations and open to advice consistently get better value because the entire engagement runs more smoothly. Communication is easier, decisions happen faster, and the team can focus on solving real problems rather than managing tension.
When the relationship feels collaborative, people become genuinely invested in the client’s success. They bring more energy, spot opportunities sooner and volunteer ideas that can make the outcome even better. In that environment, your budget goes toward progress rather than process.
Difficult clients never see the drag they create. They rarely notice how often unclear direction forces avoidable rework, or how a single sharp email triggers a long chain of alignment meetings. They do not see the tension they introduce within the delivery team or how slow approvals quietly erode momentum. They certainly never see the burnout that arises when every interaction becomes a battle, or how demotivated a team becomes when creativity is replaced with self-protection.
These costs accumulate quietly, but they always show up somewhere, and eventually they show up on the invoice.
You do not need to be a jerk to get results
Some people still believe that being abrasive gets them a better deal. It does not. What it actually does is create stress, slow everything down and push the team into a defensive posture. Nothing about that leads to better outcomes.
A simple question flips the whole thing on its head.
Would you want to be treated that way?
Most people would not want to be cut off mid-sentence, second-guessed constantly or spoken to with impatience or contempt. They would not want their expertise dismissed, their efforts ignored or their goodwill taken for granted.
Teams feel exactly the same way. When you treat people with basic respect, they lean in. They give you their best thinking. They work with you rather than around you. You get more creativity, more care and more attention to detail, not because you demanded it but because people actually want to help you succeed.
Great results come from partnership, not intimidation. And the clients who understand that always get more value for their money.
Being easy to work with does not mean being a pushover
It’s important to make this clear, because people can mistake “easy to work with” for “agreeable at all costs”. That is not what anyone wants.
Our best clients have extremely high standards. They ask hard questions, push for clarity and hold us accountable. They care deeply about the outcome. And yet, they are still a pleasure to work with.
Why? Because they manage the relationship like a long-term investment, not a series of short-term battles.
Being easy to work with simply means:
- communicating clearly & setting expectations upfront
- being willing to consider advice
- respecting people’s time and expertise
- approaching problems as shared challenges rather than blame opportunities
When clients show up like this, we will go above and beyond because we actually want to. These are the people we make time for, pull favours for and fight hard for.
The takeaway
In professional services, behaviour has a cost.
1. If you are respectful and collaborative, we will move mountains for you.
2. If you are difficult and rude, the work becomes harder and the quote reflects that reality.
The Arsehole Tax is real, and it is always self-inflicted.
If you want better outcomes for less money, the solution is simple.
Be decent. Work with your partners, not against them. The results will follow.
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